Discord's Daddy Debacle
by Bob the Flying Monkey
Summary: Discord thought he had escaped his tragic past. Having settled into the role of good-guy protector and husband, life seemed to be good. Until his father, a certain llama with a hat, finds him and begins to wreak havoc on his new home. Now it's up to Discord to save the day and put a stop to Carl once and for all.


_Disclaimer: I neither own My Little Pony (Hasbro) nor Llamas with Hats (filmcow)._

 **A/N: This is a crossover of sorts. The gist is that Carl the llama (from the YouTube series "Llamas with Hats" by filmcow)** **is Discord's father. Also, Discord and Fluttershy are married. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Fluttershy awoke to her favorite smell: Discord's warm fur. After five years of marriage and a lifetime of surprises, the two had finally reached a pleasant peace where they could predict each other.

She breathed in his scent, eyes sealed in her resistance to wakefulness. But her husband couldn't allow her too much rest.

"My dear queen," Discord purred in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. She grinned, giggled, and buried her muzzle further into his sternum bush.

"Five more minutes, Discord," she mumbled, stretching her forelegs out and embracing him. He reacted as she expected and relented.

"Very well, my love. But perhaps I can persuade you into a little pre-work exercise?" She giggled as he took her face in his paw and guided her lips to his.

"Oh," she sighed, taking a moment to reply. "If you insist."

Discord smiled brighter and gathered his wife in his arms to demonstrate one of the many facets of his love. But their moment of passion was interrupted by a loud, persistent banging on their front door. The lovers groaned, pulling apart and getting out of bed.

"Must your friends always bother us when we're busy?" Discord grouched.

"Now, you know that's not fair," Fluttershy chastised him. "They rarely bother us this early. It must be important."

"Fluttershy!" It was Rainbow Dash. "Are you decent? It's an emergency!" Ever since she had barged in on the couple celebrating their anniversary last month, Rainbow Dash made sure to wait for a response before going in.

"Everything is an emergency with you," Discord replied. "Come in. We're naked."

Rainbow Dash made a disgusted noise, and Fluttershy shoved her smirking husband. "I'll be right there," Fluttershy called to her. She kissed Discord briefly and went to attend to her friend.

When Fluttershy opened the front door, both Rainbow and Twilight were standing there. "Oh, Twilight," the yellow pegasus said, "I didn't realize you were here too."

Twilight looked worried, a thing not uncommon for her even when the world was not in peril. But this worry was different. It was important, Fluttershy could feel that.

"Fluttershy, there's a... a visitor in town. He said he's looking for someone."

"Oh. Well, um, I don't really know that many people. Maybe if you ask Pinkie Pie..."

"Oh, we know exactly who he's looking for," Rainbow Dash said, glancing up at the second story of the cottage.

Fluttershy seemed not to notice this. "Then... why are you here?" she asked softly, confused.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged an uneasy glance. "Fluttershy, the visitor is looking for Discord."

In an instant, the draconequus was with them. "You called?" He held out his hand where an antique rotary phone receiver appeared.

"This is very serious, Discord," Twilight said.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. Judging by your severe faces, this 'visitor' as you term him must be some kind of monster." Discord made a show of donning a soldier's uniform and straightening up like a military boeuf. "Fret not, Princess! I shall slay the dragon for you, so to speak."

The frown deepened on the girls' faces, but not in the normal Discord-misbehaving way. They seemed pained rather than irritated.

"Discord," Twilight began, a strain of anxiety entering her voice, "This visitor claims he's your father."

Discord stared at her, uncomprehending. His costume poofed away, but he continued to stare. His eyes drifted to the horizon. Then he spoke. First in a whisper. "How did he find me?" Followed by a much louder, "What has he done?!"

The sudden outburst startled the mares, who jumped slightly, but what really scared them was the draconequus's own fear. "He hasn't done anything, Discord," Twilight said.

Discord narrowed his eyes. "No, he has. You just don't know it yet." Then Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared without so much as a wonky sound.

Fluttershy frowned in concern. She'd never seen him so serious before, which could only mean one thing: this was bad.

"Well that's disconcerting," Twilight said. "Come on, girls. Let's go find out what we're dealing with."

The three mares rose into the sky and headed toward town.

* * *

It was a long flight to Canterlot, and Fluttershy was a weak flyer, even weaker than Twilight. Her friends had tried to persuade her to take the train, but she insisted on flying with them. Even with her inferior speed, it was still quicker than the wait.

"So what exactly happened?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight kept her eyes ahead as she answered. "As you know, I was in Canterlot on royal business."

"I guess Flash could be called 'royal business'," Rainbow Dash joked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I was in the throne room talking to Princess Celestia when this portal tears open in the air. And then this... creature steps out looking like he owns the place."

"What do you mean 'creature'? Another draconequus?" Fluttershy looked irritated at the insinuation that anyone looking like her husband would be called so subcitizen a word.

"No! No, he didn't look anything like Discord, which was why we were so concerned when he said he was his father. Princess Celestia sent me to fetch him right away."

"What do you think it means?" Rainbow Dash asked. "That Discord looks nothing like, uh, what was his name again?"

"Carl. His name is Carl."

Fluttershy was silent, so absorbed in her thoughts. 'He never mentioned he had a father. I mean, I guess I assumed his parents were dead, but still. Why would he keep it from me?'

"I have no idea, Rainbow," Twilight continued. "I don't know that much about Discord. I mean, I did muse that he might be like Frankensteed, but that's completely ridiculous. Not even magic can create life."

"Wait," Fluttershy said, only just tuning in to the conversation. "What's this about Frankensteed?"

Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged a glance. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at them. "My husband is not some madman's monster."

"No, of course not, Fluttershy," Twilight agreed. "We don't think he is."

"It's just weird that he doesn't look anything like his father," Rainbow Dash said.

"Then maybe he takes after his mother," Fluttershy said curtly.

The three flew on in silence. They were only a few miles away from Canterlot now, and could see the castle clearly in the morning sun. It was magnificent, bathed in the splendor of the heavenly rays. For about five seconds, it looked peaceful. Then a volley of shrieking rose up from the city as the air was split by a blast of discolored fire.

"Discord!" Fluttershy yelled. With more velocity than she'd ever managed before, the yellow pegasus rocketed past her friends, who were left blinking in her gust.

"Whoa," Rainbow Dash said. "Wait up!" And they sped after her.

When they reached the palace, they soon discovered the extent of the damage done in their absence. Ponies ran through the shambles of the capital city, cowering behind piles of rubble and whatever they could find. The cause of the destruction, however, was nowhere to be found.

"Oh no. Celestia!" Twilight rushed inside, followed by her two friends.

The castle was still mostly intact; just a few gaping holes in the ceiling, but otherwise structurally sound. It wasn't even in as poor condition as when the two sisters had fought so many centuries ago. However, there were some horrific blood stains painting one particularly ovular break in the roof.

Twilight was on the verge of a panic attack. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for her beloved mentor. "No no no no no no no..."

From a dark alcove, a voice called to them. "Over here!"

Twilight's ears perked up. "Flash?"

"Twilight! Come quickly. Before he sees you."

They hurried over to Flash Sentry. He and Twilight embraced each other in a way that would have made the other two giggle under better circumstances. But as it was, they were all too terrified to tease.

"Is Princess Celestia...?"

"She's in the basement, as you should be. Come, I'll take you there." Flash cantered back down the hallway from where he'd appeared.

"But wait. Why isn't she out there protecting her people?" Twilight asked. "The Celestia I know would never hide while her kingdom was in jeopardy."

Flash chuckled briefly. "Well she would be fighting if Discord had allowed her. But he insisted on dealing with this alone. Said it was his problem, not ours."

"Where is he? Is he alright?" Fluttershy asked, bordering on hysteria.

Flash gave a wary glance at the ceiling. "I hope so. Heaven help us if he isn't."

"What about Luna? Is she safe?" Twilight asked.

"I am here, Twilight Sparkle," Luna said, appearing from the shadows. She stood in front of a large door, holding it open for them. "Make haste. We have much to discuss."

* * *

The five mares and one stallion huddled in the oppressive darkness of the under-castle tunnels. Celestia had a gash across her flank to which Luna was tending. For the most part, it had stopped bleeding. She insisted she was fine but Twilight continued to fret over it.

"Princess, what happened after I left?" Twilight asked. Above them, the ground shook.

Celestia met her gaze with a severe expression. "Not long after you left to retrieve Discord, the visitor grew restless and summoned another portal that brought some terrifying creatures into our throne room. The first few we defeated together, but the final one was a true monstrosity. It was..." Celestia shuttered and could not continue.

Luna took over. "The creature was an amalgamation of raw meat and exposed muscle cobbled together with impossible magic and an unquenchable thirst for destruction. It destroyed Town Square before Discord arrived and began to fight it. We returned to the castle, but Carl was nowhere to be found."

"That's a weird name. Carl? Wonder where he's from," Rainbow Dash commented.

"Fluttershy," Celestia began, "Has Discord told you anything that could help us in this situation?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Sorry, Princess. I didn't even know Discord had any living family."

Celestia sighed. "I see. Then the only thing we can do is wait and hope he has it under control."

"But Celestia," Twilight began, "We can help him fight the monster attacking the city. Even if you are too injured..."

"No, Twilight. Even at my best, this battle is too much for us. I know nothing about the creature attacking, or its master for that matter. This is a problem Discord is going to have to handle on his own."

Twilight bowed her head in obedience. "Yes, Princess."

Fluttershy wandered over into a corner surrounded by mirrors. She stared at her reflection but paid it no attention. She had far more distressing matters on her mind. 'Oh, Discord. Please come back to me safely.'

* * *

A hour or so later, the ponies were preparing to leave the safety of their lair and fight for Equestria when Discord unexpectedly joined their party. Fluttershy ran to him immediately and threw her arms around him. "I was so worried."

Discord gripped her and held her close, resting his snout in her mane. "I'm sorry, darling. You know I hate leaving you, especially for emergencies, but it was necessary."

"So did you defeat him?" Twilight asked.

Discord regarded her with such a weary expression that she immediately regretted asking. "Not for long. I sent him back to his prison after dismantling the meat dragon, but I expect he will be back as soon as he has created another abomination. At least we should have a few days of peace before then."

"A few days?!" Rainbow Dash demanded. "Who is this guy?"

Discord heaved a sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He sagged in Fluttershy's arms. Politely, she requested, "Princess Celestia, may we have a room for Discord to rest in?"

"Of course. Flash, would you please escort them to a vacant suite in the castle?"

"Yes, your highness." He promptly showed them away.

"What do you think this means, sister?" Celestia asked Luna once they had left, shocking the remaining two mares.

Luna pawed the ground before giving an answer. "This means we have a new villain to defeat."

* * *

In the privacy of their room, Fluttershy drew her husband a warm bath and began massaging his shoulders as soon as he settled into the lavish tub.

"Darling, you don't have to do all this," Discord said as his body began to relax.

"It's no trouble. Besides, it's the least I can do after you saved Canterlot." She bit back her other thoughts, but Discord saw right through her as always.

The draconequus sighed and leaned his head back onto Fluttershy's chest. "You should join me, my love. I'll drain the dirty water and refill it with fresh stuff so we can both enjoy it." The first tub full had immediately turned a brownish red color as soon as Discord slid beneath the surface. They had already drained and refilled it twice. The first was so dirty, it had been a literal blood bath. At least it wasn't his blood, for the most part. That meat dragon had been really hands-on.

Fluttershy shook her head anyway. "No thank you. I think it would be best if you went straight to bed after your bath."

"But Flutters," he protested, "it's not even dark outside yet. All the other kids are gonna make fun of me."

She cracked a smile. "Nonsense. You've had a rough day. You need to replenish your strength. You must be exhausted."

Discord sighed again, but not at his wife's insistence. "I suppose I owe you an explanation for what has occurred today." Dunking his head under one more time, Discord gave his fur a final scrub and pulled the plug. He stood as the water swirled down the royal pipes, swooshing past his ankles and gurgling away.

He wrapped himself in a towel, stretched out an arm, and swooped Fluttershy up. She squealed and lightly pushed away from him. "Discord, you're wet!" she laughed as he nuzzled her cheek.

"And now so are you." Sashaying to the bed, he dropped onto the mattress and held his wife close. They settled together on the top quilt as Discord prepared to tell his tale.

He began with a deep breath. "Fluttershy, I know I have never spoken about my life before Equestria. You may not have realized this, but I was not born here. I came to this world to get away from Carl." His body rippled as he said the name, half from rage and half from fear. "He's a monster - a true monster. He destroyed his home planet piece by piece until there was no life left in it. He even went so far as to kill his dearest and only friend. He was a dangerous sociopath to begin with, but after Paul's death, he became even more unstable." Here he stopped when his breathing became too erratic to continue.

Fluttershy pressed her cheek against his. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

He shook his head, swallowing. "I need to tell you. I've held this secret for too long."

Fluttershy began drawing circles in his fur, knowing the calming effect the action would have. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

Discord tightened his hold on her, but in a protective way rather than an indication that he didn't believe her. He brushed his talons through her hair, allowing himself to be soothed by her touch.

"He wasn't my real father - he just called himself that. I don't remember my birth parents. They died sometime when I was a baby, probably. I just remember the orphanage, living with other children who had no families. There were a few other draconequi, but we were a minority.

"I remember the day Carl found us. We were playing outside when the sky erupted in fire. The other children screamed and ran for cover. I was too transfixed to think of my safety. Next thing I knew, the orphanage was gone, exploding behind us. I was further away from the blast zone than most of the kids. I think that's why I survived when they didn't."

"Oh no," Fluttershy whimpered, tears streaking her gorgeous fur. "Oh Discord." She held his head against her chest as he closed his eyes, the images of that day all too vivid in his mind.

When he continued, his tone was softer than before. "My home was the next to fall. When he came through our town - no doubt to bask in the destruction he has wrought - only I and a handful of others remained. He made short work of them, but something about me stopped him. Maybe it was my age. Maybe it was the fact that I had survived all of that. Either way, he took me with him. I never saw another of my kind after that day."

Discord cleared his throat. His eyes were bloodshot, and Fluttershy realized that this was the most devastated she had ever seen him, even more so than when Tirek had betrayed him.

"Rest, Discord. You can finish your story tomorrow when you are up to it." She stroked his short mane and began to sing softly to him.

"I love you," he whispered as his eyes grew heavy.

"I love you too," she replied, kissing him as she lulled him to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: So that's the beginning of this strange story. Let me know what you think. Don't forget to watch "Llamas with Hats" by filmcow on YouTube if you don't know who Carl is; I guarantee it will explain so much.**


End file.
